Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Heart Ache that Doesn't go Away!

Definition of baby daddy

Short for "Baby's Daddy". The father of your child, whom you did not marry, and with whom you are not currently involved.

I have talked about the fact that I have a baby daddy. You can read my original post here.
But today I wanted to share a little more of the heart ache side of having a baby daddy. I was talking to my friend, T, last night who has two children by two different fathers and she shares the same heart ache struggle that I do.

So here is the honest truth .... The love you feel for your baby daddy NEVER goes away!

It honestly doesn't. No matter if you have moved on and date other people you still long to be a "normal" family. You feel awful about the way everything turned out.

You wonder what you did wrong and what you should have done to try and fix it. You hate it when your child cries about having to leave one parent's house to go to the other parent's house for the weekend.

You have to answer questions about why your child has two houses. The most common question in my house is why can't his dad and I just live together? And he asks if I love his dad.

What can I say? Yes I still love your dad. I wish we were still together. I wish you didn't have to go away every other weekend.

It doesn't make things better to answer those questions.

I have told Jacob that I love his dad very much and that we were very much in love when he was born. But I stop there. I don't want my heartache to be his heartache.

T was telling me last night that she has finally gotten a hold of her oldest son's dad and that she never stopped loving him.

I know how she feels. Being a single mom is tough. Not impossible but definitely tough.

I am now in a loving and wonderful relationship with Dan. Dan comes with an amazing son, Christian.

But the heartache is still there, lingering in the back of your heart. Time does help but it never goes away.

I just wanted to share this with you because it is real and it is on my heart today. My friend struggles just like I struggle like a lot of single mom's struggle.

Today I am praying for all the mom's like me. I am praying that God heals there heart and takes away the heartache.


Have a thought? Please share! I love hearing from you!!