Oh yes I do! And let me tell you that it is not as glamorous as it may sound. It is really hard to have a baby daddy. I don't like it one bit. We will call Jacob's dad "R". I may have said his name on here before but let's just pretend I didn't.
Reasons I don't like having a Baby Daddy
1. I don't like to share. Having to share Jacob on the weekends is awful. I want him all the time.
2. I have to plan my life in 2 week increments. I don't want to check the calender to see if I have Jacob so that he can go to a birthday party or a family function.
3. I am selfish. I want all Jacob's love, kisses, hugs all the time.
4. I am a control freak. I want to know what Jacob is watching, eating, doing, and playing at all times. I don't want him to watch or do anything that I don't find appropriate.
5. I don't like to share. (I know I already said this one but it is worth repeating!) I want every single holiday with Jacob. Holidays are important and I don't want to juggle Christmas or New Years Eve.
Being a single mom is really hard and this weekend I really felt it. The second Jacob left with his dad I started crying. It is hard to be without him. REALLY REALLY HARD. When he is gone I always feel like I am missing something. I run back into the house 2 or 3 times wondering what I forgot and then I realize that it is Jacob.
To be honest, it wasn't my decision to not be with R. He broke up with me when Jacob was 6 months old. Maybe that is why I struggle with these things.
Saturday at Jacob's soccer game R's new girlfriend was there. I couldn't even look at her. It hurts my heart. I don't understand how R is willing to work on a relationship with someone else when he wasn't willing to work on a relationship with me. I just hate the fact that Jacob is part of a broken family.
Maybe I am whiny! I don't know. I am trying to learn to live with the reality that Jacob's dad gave us.
Does anyone else struggle with living with a decision that someone else made for you? Or is it just me?
Walk in His Strength
***** Also, beccad I tried to get to your website and I don't have the address. Please leave it for me so I can check out your blog.