See through

I know that my blog has mostly been upbeat and happy mainly focused on my beautiful son and our many adventures but today my blog is not going to be like that.

I am going to be honest and open with all the things that I am struggling with in my life currently. This is already feeling more difficult than I originally thought it would be.

I like my upbeat blog and showing my true self makes me feel very vulnerable.

But vulnerability can lead to great things and I will do anything to turn my life into something truly wonderful and honoring God in all his glory.

Right now things are really difficult.

In May, a letter was sent home from my son’s school informing me that I needed to show proof of residency and sign legal forms stating that forgery or deceit will lead to fines and possible court retaliations.

I didn’t want to go that route but I also knew that I am unable to pay daycare costs right now and that by using the school in my mom’s subdivision will give me a plethora of opportunities for someone to watch Jacob while I was in school as well as providing Jacob with a superior education.

I decided that foreclosing on my home that I purchased 3 1/2 years ago would be the best scenario since I would never get back the money I purchased the home for. (I purchased the condo for $129, 900 and right now the highest it would be able to be sold for is $83,000. Also the three remaining units in my condo building are vacant.)

All summer long I have been searching for a home to rent in my Mom’s subdivision since there are only two subdivisions that feed into my son’s school. Until 2 weeks ago nothing was up for rent. Then all of a sudden a home became for rent and I jumped at the chance to see it.

The home is very tiny but do able for me, Dan, and Jacob with Christian visiting on the weekends.

The renter wants a $2000 security deposit and obviously 1st months rent.

I am unsure how we are going to come up with the money and with the condo not being paid for we are in dire need of something to work out.

The realtor called me yesterday to discuss the mortgage that is being shown on my credit report and I have yet to call her back. I am nervous and stressed and unsure what is going to happen next.

I have submitted my prayer request to God and I know that he provides for the ones that love Him. I am trying to keep my need to control all things to a minimum and let God do what He needs to do.

Please pray  for me and my family during this time. Without God I know we have nothing.