Sunday, December 13, 2009

inadequate

Tonight I am feeling …

inadequate.

I feel like I am getting pushed and pulled into a thousand different directions.

I feel like a bad …

mom, daughter, friend, relative, girlfriend, and student.

I feel …

too fat, too tall, too talkative, and out of sorts.

I feel …

unloved, unsupported, unsupportive, uneasy, and unorganized.

I feel …

over stressed and under appreciated.

I feel …

like I am the black sheep on both sides of my family.

I feel …

pissed off.

AND I DON’T KNOW WHY!

Jacob hasn’t been listening.

I haven’t bought very many Christmas presents.

I cannot be in two places at once.

My house is not clean or organized.

The laundry isn’t done.

Jacob isn’t listening. (I know I said this already but he really isn’t listening.)

I haven’t been to church in three weeks.

I am crying at the drop of a hat.

I am sick and tired of being so sick and tired.

I feel judged by everyone (in my mind) but really I am doing all the judging.

I feel fat and underdressed.

I just don’t know how to shake these feelings. I know they are all in my head. I know I chose to start my day on the wrong foot.

I know that I have yelled at Jacob more than I should have.

I know all these things but in the heat of the moment I forget.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be like this all the time. I just don’t know what to do!

I know that God will get me through this. I know He will!

Sorry my posts have been very pity party esque! I just want to feel anything but sad.

Am I the only one who goes through these periods? What makes you smile on the days that make you want to sit down and cry? What do you do?

3 comments:

  1. Hey Mindy...sorry I haven't visited in awhile! I think we do all have days and times like this in our lives. Usually what I do that always makes me feel better is listen to my favorite worship music and just sing. It always makes me feel better. Have you heard the song "Beautiful Lord" by Leeland? It's a song that helps me through my bad days. I hope everything gets better for you soon!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I will be praying for you today. Be encouraged, other women are feeling the same way at times. Take each day one moment at a time. I agree with Kristin... put on some worship music and let God minister to your heart through His word. Keep him at the forefront and He will get you through. I used to think those were just basic "Christian" things to do, but now, as a mom who often has days where I feel just like you, I know that they are anything than basic. Those are the things I MUST run to. Hope that helps! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just Praise the Lord, let God work with and through you, For instance, Lord, I've got a ton of laundry, BUT Praise the Lord, I have the ability to do it, I have a washer and a dryer. Praise you father for giving me that. Or Lord, i may feel like the black sheep of my family here on on earth, But Praise you Jesus, I am one of your many sheep.... I will be thinking and praying for you!

    ReplyDelete

Have a thought? Please share! I love hearing from you!!