Monday, October 19, 2009
Not sure how to feel about this
I just met with my advisor at school and it didn't go as I thought it would. Basically, she told me that I still have a ton of work to do. I have a million classes left to take (mostly science which I am not a fan of) and a bunch of pre-clinicals to do as well. Also, the emphasis I chose she doesn't like but if I chose a different one I will be at school longer. The next two years are going to be really tough. Financially I am not sure how I am going to make it. Emotionally I don't think I can take it. God really must have wanted me to go through this. I know I am strong and I know that I can make it happen but I am worried about tomorrow.
With all the classes I will need to take I don't find it reasonable to get a job. How can I balance Jacob, school, the home, and a job? Something isn't going to be able to be on that list.
This is when I wish that Dan and I were married because then I would feel better about him helping me. Is that wrong to say? I am not saying I would only marry him so he could support me ... I didn't mean it that way. But it would be nice to have his support anyway.
Ok let's see if I can explain this better ....
You know the song "Ain't to proud to beg" by The Temptations ....
Well I am too proud ... I know it is wrong ... but I despise asking for help.
I won't beg.
Not gonna happen
Maybe this is what God is trying to teach me? Hmm
Anyway, I am in for the long haul and I hope when I graduate I will come out better on the other side.
Sorry about this post but I had to vent.
I still haven't decided if I am going to cry. I probably will later tonight. Crying in the middle of Benedictine's hallway doesn't sound appealing.