Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Good Enough

If you know me you probably know that I tend to be on the perfectionist side. Granted my house isn't always in perfect order, my errands don't always get done, my to do list is miles and miles long, and I am never on time for anything but everything I do get done I want it done to PERFECTION!

At work I do my best and always give it my all. I take it very personally when someone doesn't approve of what I have done. In my personal life I always try to be a perfect. I want the "perfect" child and the "perfect" relationship. That never happens by the way.

Trying to reach perfection is exhausting! In addition to my perfection seeking behavior I am a people pleaser. I want to make everyone happy even if it makes me miserable. I want everyone to like me, I want everyone to think I am doing a good job in my life, I want them to think I am making the right life choices, and I want them to think I am a good Christian.

I am incredibly hard on myself and I also judge myself on what other people might think. I am exhausted!

When is good enough, good enough.

I need to allow myself to be good enough. I need to allow myself the margin of error that I give everyone else. But that is so hard. I want to be the best mother, the best employee, the best friend, the best girlfriend, and the best daughter. I want to be counted on.

It is obvious that all this pressure I am feeling, I put on myself.

So ... starting today good enough is enough for me. Well I am going to try and some days may not always be easy. I will be telling people NO. I will be only allowing as much on my plate that I can handle. I am shuffling my priorities. I am going to do things for me and not for everyone else. At the end of the day, I need to make me and my son happy.

**My New and Improved Priorities**

I need to make my relationship with God top priority because I want to be filled by Him. Through him all things are possible. He knows the plans He has for me and they are way better than anything I have in mind.

God has given him to me and it is my responsibility to raise him with God in his heart.
He deserves a mother who does not yell and bark orders at him. He needs to have a mother who works around his schedule and not the other way around. He deserves the best of me.

My Family
It is easy to put your family (i.e. - Mom and brothers) on the back burner for other things going on in your life. I don't want to be that kind of daughter or sister.

In my quest for good enough status I am going to reorganize, stratagize, and wake up earlier to meet my Maker. Starting off with a meeting with God will put my day on the right path. I am going to pray for energy. I am going to pray for strength. I am going to pray that God's will be done for me each day.

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