Thursday, March 28, 2013

I Want to Get Closer

With 3 young children my days seem to get lost.

I am driving back and forth to soccer practice, watching a basketball game, buying groceries, preparing meals, changing diapers, making meals, giving hugs, kissing goodnight ... and the list could go on and on.

Some days it feels like my husband and I are like two ships passing in the night.

He wakes up before I do and leaves for work. {I am not a morning person!}

Then when he comes home at 6 p.m. we have dinner to eat, homework to finish, baths to give, and dishes to clear.

He likes to unwind by messing around on the computer while I get household stuff done.

By 9 p.m. he is turning into a pumpkin and can't wait to get to bed.

Me, being the night owl that I am, wants to stay up. I need the peace and quiet from the long day that I just had. I love being able to sit around and not have to get someone a drink or meet someone else's needs. I get to just be me. I get lunches made, post on this blog, catch up on some reading, and sit in front of the TV.

When I finally decide to throw myself into bed it is after midnight.

And the other day I realized ... we barely had a conversation. I lost time to really connect with my husband.

I don't want days to pass and us not to really see each other. I want to connect with him. I want to be with him and not just in his presence.

I tried not to think about us not really connecting but then I got my Thriving Family magazine in the mail {by Focus on the Family} and in large print it said Getting Closer: God and your marriage.

Wham! I knew I just had to read that article!

I opened the magazine to the page and began to read.

Twelve years after the wedding, life wasn't quite as wonderful. With four kids, the Clarke home was loud and busy -hectic even.
Yup! This is us ... well we don't have four kids but close enough.

Our lives were a whilwind of kids' activities, school, homework, my career as a psychologist, household chores, and church involvement.  
To be truthful ... We are not as involved in the church as we once were. We have taken a financial class and attended a premarital class. I worked at the bookstore prior to Little Miss being born and I haven't gotten back to volunteering as of yet.

During a rare, quiet moment when our kids were in bed, Sandy and I looked at each other and realized we'd started to lose ourselves as a couple. We still loved each other, of course, but something was missing. And we agreed we didn't get married to have a mediocre relationship.
Bingo!! I don't want to just be mediocre! I want the rock solid, unshakeable, communicating tons kind of marriage.

I continued reading and so many things were hitting straight to my heart. It was as if my story was being told on these pages. 

So I wrote my husband a love note and stuck it to his coffee cup like I do every evening. 

I am going to try and take the author's advice.

I am going to suggest we share our spiritual lives.
This is going to be hard because we have never done that before. We didn't really witness our parents doing it. I am sure it will be awkward at first.

I am going to suggest we start praying together.
Also probably awkward at first but we did start doing this while we were in our premarital class.

I want to have a spiritual bond with him. 

Even though my husband is not a reader, he did say we could read a book together if I read it out loud. I think this may have to be the book we read.
We need to show our children what a positive, God centered marriage looks like so they can have one when that time comes.

How do you bond with your spouse?

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