When my little boy cries it is because his mom and dad aren’t “boyfriend and girlfriend” and I feel horrible.
To be honest I don’t know what to tell him. Some information doesn’t need to be shared with a 7 year old boy. But he wants to know. He misses something he has never known.
So last night on the front porch as tears trickled down his face Jacob shared with me what he wanted.
“Mom, do you think that you and dad can hang out without me or Dan?”
“No Jacob your dad and I only hang out when you are around.”
“But Mom if you and dad hang out without me then you can just be boyfriend and girlfriend. I want to only have one house with just you and dad in it.”
“Jacob, your dad and I haven’t been boyfriend and girlfriend since you were a little baby. We are not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I have a boyfriend and your dad has a new girlfriend.”
“Mom, I like Dan and dad’s girlfriend but I would like it better if it was just you two.”
“I know honey. This must be very hard for you but unfortunately we won’t be together again. I am sorry that this makes you sad but there is nothing I can do about it. I loved your daddy very much and I was sad when we broke up but I will always love your daddy for giving you to me.”
The tears just kept coming and with that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore until … this morning.
He brought it up once again and I just kept repeating that it won’t happen and that I was very sorry.
It is amazing that this conversation happens every time his dad gets a new girlfriend. To be honest I am getting sick of it. I have repeatedly talked to Jacob’s dad about not bringing his new girlfriends around when the relationship isn’t serious. But obviously he isn’t listening to me.
This new girlfriend is a lot older than he is and is a
Desperate Housewives wannabe a mother herself. Jacob’s dad worked on her house and then she asked him out. There is nothing like a 37 year old mother/housewife dating her 28 year old carpenter.
Jacob’s dad doesn’t realize that by bringing a lot of girls in and out of Jacob’s life affects him in a non positive way.
When you only have your son 2 weekends a month the girlfriend needs to find something else to do on those weekends. Because when they break up Jacob is apart of the break up too!
My heart is a little heavy this morning and Jacob got out of the car for school looking a little sad. I wish I could take his pain away and put his family together for his sake.
I didn’t choose this life for Jacob and I would have turned myself inside out to make it different. His dad choose this for us and today it makes me angry.
Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?