Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Just a little ... stressed!

I am not sure why I am stressed but I am.

Jacob finishes kindergarten in the middle of June and I am not sure who is going to watch him yet. R's mom normally watches him two days in a row but this year she is really pushing me to allow her to watch him on a Thursday and Friday so that if it is R's weekend they will have him four days in a row. I DO NOT WANT THAT! I cannot imagine being without Jacob for four days in a row. I would just love it if she stopped pushing the issue.

This year has been a struggle for Jacob in regards to kindergarten. He struggles when he is supposed to follow directions, listen to the teacher, raise his hand, and anything else that requires attention. I am looking into changing his diet to help with what seems to be some symptoms of ADD. (Side note: He has not been diagnosed as ADD but ADD does run in my family.) I just don't want Jacob to struggle in school. I am willing to try anything.

In a previous post I informed you that I have been accepted to Northern Illinois University. I have been going to college for 10 years on and off. Oh yes ... 10 years!! God is really pushing me to go back to school and finish it. He is trying to get me to take a leap of faith. Maybe trying isn't the right word since I did apply, I did confirm my acceptance, I did apply for financial aid, and I am scheduling an appointment to meet with an adviser. This whole thing is still so surreal. I am not sure how it is all going to work out but I will be quitting my job and possibly working part time if necessary. I know God will take care of the details but I am terrified. I am not good with change and this is a HUGE change.

I guess stressed really is the correct word for how I am feeling. I don't really know why but when I get stressed out I think of all the bad things that can happen (Yes this is the devil talking I know that). But still it makes me wonder ... Will I be so broke? How will I afford Christmas presents? Should I learn to knit or crochet or sew to make Christmas presents? (hahaha I am not crafty at all) Crazy thoughts I know. The one amazing thing I am looking for is .... Spending more time with Jacob. I am hoping this will make me more like a SAHM. I am hoping to only attend classes while he is in school. The commute to school will be about 45 minutes. Jacob's school starts at 9 a.m. and finishes at 3:30 p.m. Plenty of time!

Sorry if this was super duper boring. I felt like I had to get it all out. Hopefully everyone enjoyed their Tuesday.

Walk in His Strength,


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