The Girl I Am In My Head

I honestly feel like the girl in my head is not the same girl I see in the mirror. 

To be honest ... I am really skinny in my head. I fit into size 8 jeans. I don't have rolls that hang over the waist band of my pants. My arms don't swing after I have finished waving. Seriously, I look really good in my head. 

But ...

In real life ... 

I am struggling with my weight. 

I love food. 

I love snacking. 

Food makes me happy. 

But now you can see it.

I think it has to do with the fact that I am eating the same and nursing WAY less. {I am still nursing once maybe twice a day}

It could also be the fact that we had the l.o.n.g.e.s.t. winter EVER!!! I made lots and lots of cookies and drank lot of cups of tea to go with those cookies. I didn't exercise. I just sat and ate. Then when everyone else was in bed I would snack some more. 

So now that the weather is warming up I want to take back my body. I want to take my energy back. I just want to be the girl that I am inside my head. 

I have taken action. 

And I started running.  {It feels really funny typing that. I am not sure what I am doing should be considered running. I feel more like a 500 lb elephant running for its life. Yes it is that bad. Maybe that is just how I feel. }

I only run for about 15 minutes but that is a start. I hope to build momentum and run longer. 

I have also incorporated some yoga/pilates. {FYI, Xfinity offers tons of workout videos on OnDemand. No I wasn't paid to say that. Yes I am doing free things because I don't want to spend money if I stop working out.}

No more snacking. 

I am eating breakfast. 

I am drinking water. 

I am determined to take back control. 

So I am starting small ...  taking it slow ... and working my way back to a weight I am comfortable with. 

I also have given myself "rewards" the more I work out. 

My first reward is the Grantwood Tuneband and 10 new songs from itunes. 

But I have to run for 30 minutes. That is doubling what I am doing now. 

I didn't think I would say anything on my little blog space but I had to. 

I need to be held accountable. To myself. 

I am not only doing this for me but I am doing this for my family. 

Am I the only one who sees themselves as someone other than the person in the mirror?? Hopefully I am not.