When My Little Boy Cries

When my little boy cries it is because his mom and dad aren’t “boyfriend and girlfriend” and I feel horrible.

To be honest I don’t know what to tell him. Some information doesn’t need to be shared with a 7 year old boy. But he wants to know. He misses something he has never known.

So last night on the front porch as tears trickled down his face Jacob shared with me what he wanted.

“Mom, do you think that you and dad can hang out without me or Dan?”

“No Jacob your dad and I only hang out when you are around.”

“But Mom if you and dad hang out without me then you can just be boyfriend and girlfriend. I want to only have one house with just you and dad in it.”

“Jacob, your dad and I haven’t been boyfriend and girlfriend since you were a little baby. We are not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I have a boyfriend and your dad has a new girlfriend.”

“Mom, I like Dan and dad’s girlfriend but I would like it better if it was just you two.”

“I know honey. This must be very hard for you but unfortunately we won’t be together again. I am sorry that this makes you sad but there is nothing I can do about it. I loved your daddy very much and I was sad when we broke up but I will always love your daddy for giving you to me.”

The tears just kept coming and with that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore until … this morning.

He brought it up once again and I just kept repeating that it won’t happen and that I was very sorry.

It is amazing that this conversation happens every time his dad gets a new girlfriend. To be honest I am getting sick of it.  I have repeatedly talked to Jacob’s dad about not bringing his new girlfriends around when the relationship isn’t serious. But obviously he isn’t listening to me. 

This new girlfriend is a lot older than he is and is a Desperate Housewives wannabe  a mother herself.  Jacob’s dad worked on her house and then she asked him out. There is nothing like a 37 year old mother/housewife dating her 28 year old carpenter. 

Jacob’s dad doesn’t realize that by bringing a lot of girls in and out of Jacob’s life affects him in a non positive way.

When you only have your son 2 weekends a month the girlfriend needs to find something else to do on those weekends. Because when they break up Jacob is apart of the break up too!

My heart is a little heavy this morning and Jacob got out of the car for school looking a little sad. I wish I could take his pain away and put his family together for his sake.

I didn’t choose this life for Jacob and I would have turned myself inside out to make it different. His dad choose this for us and today it makes me angry.

Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

God is all around us

He is in the beauty of the sky.

He is in the color of the trees.

His light shines on us when we don’t expect it or deserve it.

He can be found in a laugh among friends.

He can be found in the silliness of a lazy afternoon.

He can be found in a chat between an Uncle and his Nephew.

God shows His love for us everywhere we go. Take the time to find Him. Take the time to love Him. 

Things that make me feel old

Today has just been one of those days that reminds me that I am getting older. So here is what happened …

• My cooperating teacher told me that she is 30 years old and has been teaching for 10 years. …. Umm I am almost 30 and I still have a year in school left before I can BECOME a teacher.
• My professor asked us what variety was. I quickly answered “the spice of life”. I got crazy stairs from my classmates. Turns out you need to be close to 30 to know that phrase …. GEEZ.
• I ran into Julie at Walgreens. I used to babysit for her when her daughter , Kayla, was 5 and she was pregnant with her son, Sean. Now … Kayla is 14 and in high school and Sean is in 5th grade.
• In my Classroom Management class we had to go around asking our classmates silly questions like what 3 things would you bring if you were stranded on a deserted island or what song describes you. When I was asked what song described me I said “Come On Get Happy” from the Partridge Family …. And when I accidentally said the Brady Bunch no one corrected me.
• My best friend is turning 30 on Monday which means that I am getting awfully darn close to 30 myself.

So today I am feeling old.  That is it. Just. Plain. Old.

Praising the Lord and Loving My Family

It has been an amazing few months!

As you already know, we moved into a townhouse so that Jacob could continue going to school in the same district.  The move went amazingly well. Almost every box has been unpacked except for a large box containing Jacob’s winter clothes. I will have to tackle it soon because the Fall weather is fast approaching. It definitely is beginning to feel like home. I think that all of us are happier here.

Jacob discovered that another 2nd grader from his school lives across the street and loves having someone to play with.

Jacob also is loving being able to ride his bike in the cul-de-sac, kick a soccer ball in the front yard, and run around without me having to run around with him.

Mornings have been much better this year. I am trying to get better at packing his lunch (and my lunch) the night before. Also, I have been pre-warning letting him know what I expect from him in the mornings. He no longer is fighting me when it comes to taking a shower, brushing his teeth, or putting his shoes on. Thank Goodness!

Another blessing is that Jacob is doing really well in second grade. So far there has been no need for a separate behavior plan and his reading has improved. He is taking part in a Poetry Group which will improve his reading fluency.  

I have been enjoying my second year back in college. Although the work has been tougher and my schedule crazier. I am still loving it.

I am doing my practicum at an elementary school in Downers Grove in a 2nd grade classroom.  I instantly fell in love with the students in my class and my cooperating teacher is wonderful. She has thrown me right into the classroom and helping the students. I even get to bring papers home to grade. (Remind me that I was happy about this when I have my own classroom and am complaining about bringing papers home to grade.)

I was actually in the classroom today when the school went into a “soft lockdown”. It turned out that there was a domestic violence situation at the end of the block and the people were unwilling to come out of the house. As a precaution, I was lead out of the building and directed to drive through the grass and over a baseball field to reach the street. I was shaking like a leaf for the rest of the day.

Also, I discovered that one of the students in my class, lets call him “R”, stayed home from school today because his father is being sent to Afghanistan. Please pray for “R’s” father’s safety and for his family while he is away. I am sure that “R” will struggle in the classroom for a little while. Please pray for me to have the right words to say to him.

I guess that is it for now. Look forward to pictures coming soon because Jacob has a 3 v 3 soccer tournament Friday night under the lights. Also, tomorrow we have soccer practice and Open House. I look forward to Jacob leading me through his classroom and showing me all the things he has done so far this year.

By the way, I am loving my family right now. Can’t get enough!