We Are Moving

After months and months of prayers from everyone … we officially have rented a townhome and will be moving THIS Saturday.

I feel extremely grateful to be surrounded by so many people who prayed for us, loved on us, and stuck with us through such a rough and tumble time.

I felt defeated for a long time and never thought that we would find a place to go. I started preparing for the worst and decided to email Jacob’s principal.

I informed him that we tried unsuccessfully to find a house in district for Jacob to start at his school. He told me to keep him informed and that he would work with me to get Jacob enrolled. (This was Monday morning.)

On Monday evening, we were informed that we were approved to rent a townhome in Jacob’s school district.

This was GREAT news and just what we were hoping for.

But … the security deposit was $500 more than we had anticipated.

On Tuesday morning, I went in and met with the homeowner to sign the lease and hand over the security deposit.

Our new landlord is a pastor. He has been the senior pastor of the church in town for 18 years.

Once the lease was signed and his realtor left the room. I told him that we prayed for this house. He smiled.

After the lease was signed we directly went to Jacob’s school and registered him.

On Wednesday morning, I dropped Jacob off for his first day of second grade.

Jacob has the teacher he hoped for and is very excited for school this year. Most of his friends are in his class and he says this is going to be his best year yet.

On Thursday evening, Jacob started soccer practice.

And … Saturday he officially had his first game.

Sunday we finally celebrated my brother's college graduation.

And today … I started back to school. I cannot believe that everything has fallen into place. I had my doubts. I doubted that God would find us a place to live.

I doubted Him.

But God once again showed up and showed Himself to me. He showed me to lean on Him on when everything in this world is on shaky ground. He showed me that He takes care of me and my needs. (Side note: Can anyone tell me the verse in the Bible that talks about how He takes care of the birds and their needs and how we are more important than birds? I do not know where it is and I would like to have it.) He showed me that when all else fails I still have Him and that He loves me.

Why I doubt Him? I may never understand. But God has once again provided. I am in awe of all He does for me.

Thank you so much for praying for us. I am truly grateful.

 

Entitlement

This morning I woke up early with such a heavy heart of the circumstances I am facing unsure of what to do. At 6:15 a.m. I am sure I could have flipped on the tv and found some nonsensical program to drown out my thoughts but instead I picked up Pete Wilson’s book, Plan B, and began reading where I had left off in the middle of the summer.

I went to the balcony and sat on my navy blue chair with my steaming cup of coffee and pen resting on the matching table. I flipped to the folded down page and began to read.

The words seemed familiar and I realized that I had already read this particular part but I continued anyway. (I guess I didn’t have a pen handy when I read it the first time and that is why I didn’t unfold that page and fold down the true page I stopped at.)

When I began rereading the words one particular paragraph leap from the page and dug into my heart.

The process of becoming the person God wants us to become usually doesn’t come from success, success, success. It’s loss, success, failure, success, heart break, success, disappointment, success.

As I continued to read I also came across this paragraph as well…

Please understand, please prepare yourself because if you haven’t come up against the wall yet, you will eventually. God will allow you to go through something. It might be a loss, a tragedy, a life-changing situation, and there will be no simple explanation to why it is happening.

Here is where my entitlement comes in … I thought I had already hit my wall when my father left us 11 1/2 years ago. I thought that when I had to get approved for more credit cards in order to help pay the household bills at 18 years old was my wall. I thought that when I wasn’t able to go away to college like I had always dreamed of had been my wall. I thought watching my family get torn up from it’s roots and never get placed back was my wall. I thought watching my mother provide breakfast, lunch, and dinner with only $12 a week was my wall.

I thought life was supposed to become easier and that God would grant me the things in life that I wanted because of the wall I had already had to overcome.

I thought getting pregnant at 21 years old was my wall. I thought that when Jacob’s dad left me to pretty much take care of a 3 month old on my own was my wall. I thought watching him bring other girls in and out of my son’s life was my wall. I thought witnessing him try to forge relationships with other people who did not have his child was my wall.

In my eyes, I had already hit the wall, struggled to get over it (I still struggle with those particular walls and some days I feel like I have fallen back over it), and landed on the other side.

I guess I thought God would see how much I have already been through and provide me with an easier journey.

Now I look and I am seeing that my journey is paved with hurdles; maybe mine are strategically placed closer together. I am not sure exactly. Although right now it does seem to feel that way.

Right now I am in the midst of jumping yet another hurdle. God obviously is trying to teach me something during this time.

As my cup of coffee turned cold and my heart began to ache I read these final words before I came back inside to prepare for another day …

We’re called to be faithful to God even when it seems he hasn’t been faithful to us. We’re called to love him even when we feel abandoned. We’re called to look for him even in the midst of darkness. We’re called to worship him even through our tears.

Today I will choose to be faithful even though I am unsure of what God is going to provide for us. I am going to change my heart and raise my eyes to the heavens to provide the directions.

I am choosing to lose my sense of entitlement and enjoy this journey He has provided to me.

One Week Left

Actually, yesterday was one week left. Today I have 6 days until Jacob is supposed to start school.

We are waiting to hear about a townhouse we put our application in for. My realtor said the renter doesn’t like our credit. (Duh! I don’t either!) But he hasn’t ruled us out yet.

Panic is setting in.

I still am struggling to sleep.

I don’t know what to do with myself.

Last night while I was laying waiting for sleep to grab a hold of me and pull me in I kept repeating … “Lord, help us! Lord, help us!”

I know He will but this waiting is driving me crazy.

What am I going to do if I can’t register Jacob for school?

How will I be able to attend school if Jacob isn’t in school?

This morning I just feel as if I can’t breathe!

Will you continue to pray for me and my family as we wait to find out what is in store for us?

Will you pray that everything will work out according to God’s plan?

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”                    Jeremiah 29:11

 

Insomnia

I can’t sleep.

Day after day I cannot wait to lay down but the second I do every possible list or problem is running through my head.

*What are we going to do about moving?

*Will we get this condo?

*Will we be able to come up with the money?

*Grocery shopping list

*How will I pack the moving boxes?

*Will I be able to get a moving truck in time?

*Will I be able to change the gas, electric, and cable companies to come out right when we move?

*Will the district approve our request for transfer of schools?

*How am I going to buy my school books?

*The summer is almost over … did I spend enough quality time with Jacob?

The list just keeps going.

I have tried natural sleep aids and I swear that just increases my anxieties.

I normally don’t worry about things but this whole move needs to take place in a little over 2 weeks.

It is starting to feel like I can’t breathe.

I just need sleep.

Five Question Friday – 8/6

Welcome back to another 5 Question Friday! I had so much fun last week answering the questions and reading what everyone else had to say. If you want to join in head over to My Little Life and hang out with Mama M.
So here are this weeks questions …
1. Are you a neat sleeper or a messy sleeper?
I am a messy sleeper. First of all, I love to sleep on an angle with my head on one corner and my feet on the opposite corner. Then, I don’t like my feet covered by blankets so I have to pull the blankets up to my shins. Most nights I toss and turn all night long which means that the blankets are all crazy and makes me dread making the bed in the morning.
2. Fill in the blank. I wish I was more ________________.
I wish I was more of a morning person. I would love to wake up early and be dressed and ready before anyone else wakes up. I do pray about it but I have not been transformed yet.
3. What is something that you wish you had been warned about?
I wish I had been warned about how hard it is to have a child in elementary school. You have to remember school supplies, reading, flashcards, homework, spelling tests, field trips, days off, and half days. I feel like I need a command center just because Jacob is going into 2nd grade.
4. What was the best thing you ever found at a garage sale/flea market?
I know this may sound weird but the best thing I ever found was a new version of a mounted microwave that I already had. I didn’t want to spend $150 dollars when the handle broke off of mine but a garage sale had the newer version of mine for $50! No hardware had to be replaced we just mounted it. Is it weird that I am so excited about a microwave?
5. If you could have any meal brought to you right now, what would it be?
A Chipotle steak burrito bol with chips and salsa!!! My boyfriend doesn’t like Chipotle so we never go but I on the other hand LOVE Chipotle and have been missing it for awhile now!
Well that’s it for this week. Come back next week … hopefully I will remember for 3 weeks in a row. To join in yourself or to read everyone else’s answers go over to My Little Life and hang out with Mama M for awhile.

Hello Mr. Stanley … It’s Nice to FINALLY meet you

As you may know (or may not know – depending on if you watched) the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley cup.

To be honest we were not avid hockey watchers throughout the series but we did watch the final game when they won.

My brother works for the Village and got the opportunity to invite his family to see (and touch) the Stanley cup for 12 seconds on a Wednesday.

Jacob, Christian, and I decided that this may be our only opportunity to see the Stanley cup so we waited in line for 30 minutes and got our picture taken.

We were not allowed to take pictures because 12 seconds obviously was not enough time to make sure everyone was smiling and without funny faces. So they took the pictures for us and we finally got to see the pictures yesterday.

So here they are ….

Doesn’t my brother look handsome?

I am so glad that we got this opportunity. And we will definitely never forget it.

Thank you Mark for inviting us!

In the Midst

Dear Lord,

We are in the midst of a great struggle. My heart is in knots and my stomach is feeling queasy. I am dreading the call to the realtor to be honest with the financial situation we are in. I am hoping that the owner and the realtor have a kind heart and give us a chance to rent the property. Please calm my heart and my fears. Remind me to put my faith in you and that all things will work out according to your plan and not just my will. Teach me to let You lead my life and that when I try to control my life alone things fall apart even more.

Amen